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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26251624">Ssssidle Over Here</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/whaleofatime/pseuds/whaleofatime'>whaleofatime</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Date Night [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Aquaman (2018), Batman - All Media Types, Justice League (2017)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Australia, Case (?) Fic, M/M, When back up is both very and not at all necessary</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 03:02:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>724</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26251624</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/whaleofatime/pseuds/whaleofatime</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>An emergency call has Bruce dropping everything to address a man being attacked by reptiles falling from the sky. When it's not quite what he expected, he doesn't have a choice but to call in Aquaman for back-up.</p><p>Arthur sure doesn't let him forget it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Arthur Curry/Bruce Wayne</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Date Night [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1907071</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>71</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Ssssidle Over Here</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“I came as fast as I could,” Arthur, King of Atlantis, yells out as he rides a wave across the beach and soaks the ever-loving hell out of an unsuspecting doormat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"That's a lie and you know it," Batman's voice manifests doubly, from the comm and from somewhere inside the neat little beach bungalow. "I made the call over 30 minutes ago, Aquaman. If this was a real emergency I would be dead by now."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Arthur wipes his shoes on the wet mat and heads inside, curious to see what the big bad Bat needed him for. "One, I got good money on you outliving everyone, including the Princess. Two, you're the one that said Mission Fight Off Super-sized Sentient Crocodiles Down Under was over and we could go home. It's not my fault that I rule the seas and I move fast. And three,” Arthur ducks under a broken ceiling tile, and finally sees a Batman who’s frowning at something by his feet, “three, your message was ‘Get over here, wet boy,’ which is a macroaggression against Atlanteans, and not a sign of something serious.” He finally sees the issue at hand, and it’s enough of a sight that he’s stopped from continuing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They’re both quiet for a bit as they stare at the two massive snakes struggling to reverse out from under a bag of rice and a thick user manual for a 1983 Toyota Corolla respectively.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Arthur looks back at the ceiling tile, and then at the snakes. “Bats, quick question.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bruce doesn’t answer, but Arthur will not be stopped. He nudges Bruce right in an armoured rib. “Don’t pretend you can’t hear me. C’mon, I got a question.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What is it,” Batman says, not asks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why in the hell are you playing at animal control in bumfuck nowhere, Australia, and why’d you call me?” One of the snakes hisses at Arthur, and Arthur hisses back. “Not that I’m not enjoying myself.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The sigh, even through a modulator, is 0% Batman and 100% headache-having Bruce, which is pretty cute. “The BatWing automatically latches on to first responder channels wherever it flies. I was heading back when the gentleman who owns this house called triple zero, and screamed ‘flying snakes are attacking me’.” Another sigh. “After the incident with the crocodiles, I thought it prudent to check, just in case. Ended up being giant snakes living in the ceiling crawl space getting so fat off of squirrels they broke through, and I have managed to-,” Bruce stares fixedly at the car manual, before looking away. "To subdue them."<br/>
</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Arthur spares a moment to try and imagine Batman locked in a life-or-death battle against giant overweight winged pythons, and feels a little regretful that that isn’t the truth of things. “Okay. And I’m here because…?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Batman folds his arms, which is cool and authoritative as far as looks go, but Arthur knows Bruce is uncomfortable when he does it because the spikes in the gauntlets bite in funny. “They’re called coastal carpet pythons. You…..are coastal.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re not wrong there, babe,” Arthur says, but he’s already rudely, affectionately laughing at Bruce. “Give you gods and monsters and you don’t blink an eye, give you a couple of snakes longer than a man and suddenly you’re calling the BF in for support.” He crouches down, and tries to figure out if they speak any dialect of sea snake.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I really hope they eat you,” Bruce says quietly enough to have plausible deniability, but loudly enough for Arthur to catch it loud and clear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No go,” Arthur replies cheerfully, referring to both being eaten and having a shared language. He looks around, and spots a laundry hamper with a lid, and the way forward is clear and satisfyingly human. “C’mon, we can chuck ‘em in the basket and then drop them off at a fire station or something. I’ll even give you a ride home on some smooth ocean waves, how’s that sound?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s a charged silence that’s pretty standard for Batman strategising his little ass off, and Arthur is waiting to hear some guff about how saline is bad for the Wing’s undercarriage, or something.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What he gets instead, in a voice as close to a pout as the Bat of Gotham gets, is:</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Am I going to need to <em>touch</em> the damned things?”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>the more i be going through it, the more i want to write wetbat because here i'm finally on the same intellectual level as the people i'm writing about. also any excuse to expend my limited time on this earth into figuring out a pun for the title is a good time by my standards.</p><p> </p><p>  <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2020/sep/01/snakes-on-a-plate-australian-man-shocked-after-massive-serpents-crash-through-kitchen-ceiling">100% inspired by this incredible piece of irl news</a></p><p> </p><p>i have a Dick(!) fic planned but i'm really struggling with picking a cool city to base it in _(┐「ε:)_♡ only a lack of geographic knowledge is limiting my output, to be honest.</p><p>here's hoping you're doing all right in These Times 🙏</p></blockquote></div></div>
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